Do women really enjoy casual sex with men? By casual, I mean keeping things in a dating spirit, having sex, hanging out, but not calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend.
The fact is, (most) women by nature want to have a committed relationship with a man. Evolutionarily, it provides for the woman a security that the man will be around to help her with the children, if they end up in the picture. But also, women have a strong pull toward community, and social bonds with others – men and women – and so it’s simply a natural extension of that tendency.
But it also holds true that women, when spoken to honestly and directly by men, desire the same thing that many men do: casual sex, no commitment, and a friends with benefits scenario. But the key here is that the man must be honest from the very beginning with the woman about what his intentions are – otherwise, he will be considered a jerk, a player, and a man who is hurtful to women. And rightfully so. Because if he isn’t honest, then he lied to women to manipulate them and get what he wants.
So why don’t players, or guys that just want sex, simply be honest with women in the beginning? Usually it’s because they don’t really believe that the woman will say “yes” to having sex with him, hanging out casually, and accepting the nature of the relationship as he wants it. They believe the woman inherently doesn’t want to have a physical relationship.
But women are sexual creatures, even more so than most men, which is almost impossible to believe to the average man. How on earth could a woman want sex more than a guy?
Women are sensual junkies: they love activities, people, and anything else that stimulates their senses. But it has to be from an honest source. Think of it from the woman’s point of view: If she’s going to allow herself to be completely vulnerable, and have a sexual relationship with a man, it’s a big deal for her. She has other things to think about that aren’t at the front of the typical guy’s mind as a possible side effect: like pregnancy, for instance. If she puts it out there that she desires a man, enough to sleep with him, and he lies to her and demonstrates behavior that he wants a relationship, she has been fooled – and it’s not a joke – but potentially a serious situation with serious repercussions for her.
Don’t lie to women, and don’t assume that you know what they want. Women are all over the place, just like guys, with their wants and desires. And women in general, are highly sexed creatures that desire the “pleasures of the senses” even more than men. But you absolutely must be honest with women about your intentions from Day 1. Otherwise, you are a jerk, and women have the right to hate you.